How will the person above you die?

[Internetninja92]

This is an idea I found on another server. You describe how the poster above you will die. These threads have been known to go on for hundreds of pages. I don't mean this to be mean spirited in any way whatsoever. We'll try it out and see if we can do it without turning it into a flame war or whatever. I direct you to this thread on another forum, where it has worked quite hilariously. Here's an example of one of my favorites from that thread:

You're caught in a horrible traffic jam during rush hour. You decide to step outside to yell at the driver in front of you, but when you open your door, a car screams past, destroying the open door. You stand, shocked, as a splurt of blood erupts from where your arm used to be.
Screaming in horror, you clutch at your bloodied stump, stumbling dazed into the road. A nearby driver swerves to avoid you, but others aren't so observant. A dull thud is heard as a jeep collides with your legs, then a sharp snap as you fall to the ground.
Drivers emerge from their cars everywhere to help, to watch. Like vultures descending on a kill, they swarm around you. You feel your vision fade. Then all is black.
When you wake up, you're in the hospital. You feel an odd tingling sensation from your nether regions. As you look up, a doctor is standing by your bedside, flipping frantically through your paperwork. You try to ask him what's wrong, but your voice feels like it's caught. You strain to listen and for a second you hear the doctor mutter, "Wrong procedure, wrong procedure DAMMIT," before walking out.
You try to throw back your bedsheets, only to find both your arms are missing. In shock, you kick at the bedspread, but your efforts are futile - you can see that your legs are gone as well. Rolling as best you can, you knock the bedspread to the side, then stare in horror at the results of your sex-reassignment surgery.
A few months later, you are released from the hospital, utterly helpless. As you are wheeled into the car that will carry you home, a seagull flies overhead, and by utter chance, poops straight into your eye. Over the next few days, your eye becomes infected and swollen. You get it removed.
A week later, you drown in the bathtub. Sorry.

They can be short or long. This happens to be long. Just try and use some creativity.

[Soupe Fiasco]

A rival ninja will ninja star you because you called him a "n00b"

[DSollick]

An infinite loop was fed into your computer, along with a massive memory leak in Windows that fills up your RAM, begins to overheat the computer.  The cooling fans suck up so much dust that the fans clog themselves, causing the CPU to overheat and melt [The insane RAM usage causes your computer to not send an emergency TERM signal].  You die from heartbreak/starvation while staring at the dead computer screen.

(Sorry if this isn't especially creative -- I had to come up with something and I couldn't remember if silicon smoke was poisonious or not)

[Internetninja92]

It is very creative.

But while googling silicon smoke, silicon smoke issues from your computer and kills you.

[Soupe Fiasco]

It is very creative.

But while googling silicon smoke, silicon smoke issues from your computer and kills you.

Haha, ownage.

Yet, while you're sleeping DSollick purchases NingaGaiden2. Being a beast with computers and such, he is able to create a very interesting aspect to the game disc. You wake to find a brand new copy of NG2 on your porch so you take it in and begin to play. You are so amazed by the fact that the character you play looks exactly like you, you pay no attention to the outside world. You hear crash behind you and turn aroud to see a [insert a foe from NingaGaiden games here] staring you down. Confused, you turn back around and the TV is gone. Realized you are now, very literally "playing" NG2. You carefully unsheath your sword and prepare for some fighting.

33 levels later you're up against the boss, [insert NG boss here]. You guys blow for blow, only you're getting tired and you don't know if there are multiple lives or respawns in this game so you dive for cover. While trying to regain your energy you notice that the massive chandilier is held up by paper thin chain links. You quickly climb (Assassin's Creed style) up the walls to get a little leverage. Once high enough you use your last ninga star. It's spinning. Everything seems like slo-mo. It hits! Yes! the chandilier falls, knocking over [same beast as earlier] you dive and jab your sword into the back of it's head. "Victory at last!" But then a pencil-shaped shard of crystal (flying 120 mph, after shattering off the chandilier) drives into your brain. Insta-kill.

It's all over the news. "Gamer dies in living room couch". "Boy dies unexplainably while playing xBox".

Briansoupy hears about this, but doesn't give it much thought.

He signs on to his computer the next day, and checks bungiehq. Today, there is a rather peculiar thread.

The title : Tehe.

The content : 

The author : DSollick

[Gotem Gupta4711]

Brian throws a waterbaloon at his sister and she seeks revenge on him by smashing his halo disk, and every game that is fun.


Leaving him with only COD4 to play with forever!!!!

(Which kills you on the inside)

[Soupe Fiasco]

Brian throws a waterbaloon at his sister and she seeks revenge on him by smashing his halo disk, and every game that is fun.


Leaving him with only COD4 to play with forever!!!!

(Which kills you on the inside)

wow. that is actually plausible.

The real GotemGupta finds you, sues for copyright infringement, you can't afford food, starvation ensues

[Gotem Gupta4711]

Dang... very clever...


You try to get recon on one of those miles maps and finish one. Then you realize you don't get recon for it...
And die of a heart being broken.

( Was going to say something about bill Nigh)

[Envy]

The world will pass you by. You will lose contact with friends, and soon, your family. You will become attached to your work to such an extent that you never leave you office. Soon your 50 and you havent even noticed. The management where you work decides that you are no longer fit to work in the company. You have no one to go to. No wife... No kids... No family or friends. You spiral into depresson. You try to find work but to no avail. You dont know what to do, so you decide to go for a drive to calm your head. Along the way you are involved in a nine car pileup due to a person 2 cars ahead being clipped by a train while driving around the barriers. The accident was horrific and five were killed, and two would have mental side-effects for the rest of their lives. One of those was a little girl at the age of only four years old. You see her mangled body as you are pulled from the scene moments before you pass out. The girl haunts your nightmare that you have that night in the hospital. When you awake, you realize that you cant move your arms or legs and thus, you are paralyzed from the neck down. From the moments on, for the next ten years, the only thing you wish for is death. You weep every night until you enebitably die in your dark, moldy, unkempt apartment with your teenage nurse passed out on the sofa with three wine bottles next to her.

hows that?

[DSollick]

Brian, you're getting an award for that.

You are all terribly morbid people!  So am I!

A canadian grenade that was in your lawn explodes due to a small rabbit playing with it, and a peice of shrapnel embeds itself in your family's dog.  While rushing the dog to the hospital, you hit a pot-hole and your car skews into oncoming traffic.  A trucker smashes into the car, killing everyone but the dog.  The dog limps away from the accident only to be hit by a careening boat trailer.

[Blegh.  This sounded better in my head XD]

[Inspired by this news article.]

[Envy]

yeah i like mine better

you annoy envy so much that he eventually finds you and lops off your head

[Internetninja92]

While congratulating yourself on a reply well posted, an over-worked under-paid trucker who had just driven four hundred miles falls asleep at the wheel and careens into your home, you stagger from the wreckage of your house only to find that the trucker was carrying a load of radioactive sludge covered copies of Big Rig Truckers, the worst game ever made. While trying to avoid the filth and get away from the radioactivityness, you trip over a time traveling Nazi's boot. An epic battle ensues between you and the future Nazi and his robot minions. You finally strike down the Nazi, saving the world and all you hold dear, only to be killed by a white hot beam of global warming. You should have listened to Al Gore.

[xQUINTESSENCEx]

Shot by a pirates cannon from the port side...

[Cart Racer 64z]

A car runs you over, you get knocked out, then you wake up on a beach, people with guns comes up to you and knocks you out again, then you wake up in a lion cage and the people with guns are chanting, the lion runs up to you and you never wake up again.  lolololol

[Black Hole Son]

While walking down the street, you notice an elite standing on the other side of the road. You instantly yell, "n00b! 5p@rtinzzz r waaay btr!!!1!!!". The angry elite pulls out an energy sword and lops your head off. Somehow, you are still alive. You roll your head to the right and notice Master Chief walking towards you.

"ch13f!!!! h3lp m3!!1!! i wuz cut by a haxor!!!!one!!!!! c@ll 911!!!!!"

The chief then removes his helmet, and reveals that he is also an elite. Being offended by your comment, he punts your head like a football and you land at in front of someone wearing black boots. You look up and say, " Oh, s***. It's Chuck Norris."

You ask, "r u n 733t 2???" He replies...

"No. I just feel like kicking someone's -blam!- right now." Then he steps on your head and you explode into 1000 mini marshmallows.


TEH END!